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Navigating social media boundaries as a couple can be a tricky task. With the constant access to our loved ones' lives that social media provides, it's important to establish clear boundaries to ensure a healthy relationship. Here are a few tips from the experts at Arkansas Relationship Counseling Center for setting boundaries on social media when in a relationship.

social media boundaries
Photographer: Karthik Balakrishnan | Source: Unsplash

Have an Open and Honest Conversation

The first step in setting boundaries on social media is to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about how you both feel about social media usage in the relationship. Having open and honest conversations with your romantic partner about setting boundaries on social media usage can be a difficult but important task. Social media has become integral to our daily lives, making it increasingly difficult to disconnect from it. However, when it comes to relationships, it's important to establish clear boundaries and expectations around social media usage to maintain healthy communication and trust.

Why You Feel The Need To Discuss Social Media Boundaries

One of the first things to consider is why you feel the need to set boundaries around social media usage in your relationship. Perhaps you have noticed that your partner's constant checking of their phone is causing distractions during quality time together, or that they are spending too much time on social media instead of focusing on the relationship. Maybe you are concerned about the type of content they are viewing or with whom they interact. Whatever the reason, it's important to clearly express your concerns to your partner in a non-accusatory manner.

Be Specific

When having the conversation, it's important to be specific about the behavior that is bothering you and the boundaries you would like to set. Instead of making general statements like, "you spend too much time on social media," try saying something like, "I feel neglected when you are on your phone for extended periods of time during our conversations. Can we set a limit on phone usage during quality time together?"

Boundaries are a Two-Way Street

It's also important to remember that setting boundaries is a two-way street. You may have concerns about your partner's social media usage, but they may also have concerns about yours. It's important to listen to your partner's perspective and be open to discussing and setting boundaries that work for both of you.

Be Considerate

Be considerate and understanding of your partner's points of view, and try to find a solution that satisfies both parties. Remember, setting boundaries is not about controlling or limiting each other; instead, it's about creating a healthy balance and fostering a strong, trusting relationship.

Social media can be a great way to stay connected with friends and family, but when it comes to romantic relationships, it's important to establish boundaries to ensure that it doesn't interfere with the quality of the relationship. By having open and honest conversations with your partner and setting clear boundaries, you can maintain healthy communication and trust, and strengthen your relationship in the long run.

Agree On Social Media Etiquette

Creating social media etiquette guidelines between romantic partners can be a sensitive topic, but it can also be a helpful tool in maintaining a healthy relationship.

Social media etiquette is a set of guidelines that outline how you and your partner will interact on social media and what is and isn't acceptable behavior. This can include things like whether or not you'll follow each other on social media, what kind of photos you'll post of each other, and how you'll interact with other people online.

One important aspect of social media etiquette is setting boundaries around privacy. This could mean agreeing not to post personal information about your relationship online, or not sharing photos of the two of you together without each other's consent.

Another important aspect is digital communication on social media. While staying connected with your partner through digital means is convenient, sometimes too much digital communication can be detrimental to the relationship. Agreeing on a healthy frequency of checking in, replying, and engaging in conversations, and also take a break from devices and social media during special moments, like dinner or vacation.

Another consideration is how you handle social media interactions with other people. This could include agreeing not to flirt with or message other people online, or setting boundaries around how you interact with people from your past.

It is also important to remember that social media etiquette is a fluid arrangement that can be changed and modified as the relationship progresses. It should be discussed periodically to ensure it aligns with the current stage of the relationship and the comfort levels of both parties.

Overall, creating social media etiquette guidelines with your romantic partner can be a beneficial tool in maintaining a healthy relationship. It helps to establish clear boundaries, promote open communication, and keep trust and respect at the forefront of your interactions.

Respect Each Other's Privacy

One of the most critical aspects of social media boundaries is respect for each other's privacy. This includes not snooping on your partner's social media accounts, not sharing personal information about them on social media, and not posting pictures or status updates that they may be uncomfortable with.

Keep in Mind the Bigger Picture

It is important to remember that social media is just one small aspect of your relationship and should never come at the expense of your relationship's well-being. If issues do arise, make sure to address them head-on and work together to find a solution.

Don’t Use Social Media as a Measure of Your Relationship.

"Don't use social media as a measure of your relationship" is a reminder that the highlight reel of someone's relationship that they choose to share on social media should not be used as a benchmark for the health and happiness of your own relationship. In today's world, it's easy to get caught up in the constant stream of images and updates that friends, family, and even strangers share about their romantic lives on social media. From pictures of romantic getaways to milestones like engagements and weddings, it can be hard not to compare these happy moments to your own relationship. However, it's important to remember that the relationships portrayed on social media are often a curated version of reality and don't accurately reflect the day-to-day experiences of a couple.

It's important to focus on your relationship, rather than compare it to the selective versions of other people's relationships you see online. Every relationship is different and has its own set of challenges and successes. What may look perfect on social media may not be the case in real life and it's important not to fall into the trap of comparing your own relationship to an idealized version of someone else's. Instead, focus on what makes your relationship unique and special. This can help you appreciate the beauty and complexity of your own relationship and avoid feeling envious or inadequate based on the curated version of someone else's relationship on social media.

By not using social media as a measure of your relationship, it may also be helpful in fostering a deeper level of communication and trust between partners. By discussing important things to you and your partner, you build a strong foundation for a healthy, happy, and fulfilling relationship that is not swayed by the superficial appearance of other people's relationships on social media.


In conclusion, setting boundaries on social media when in a relationship is important to maintaining a healthy and happy relationship. Open and honest communication, respect for each other's privacy, and not using social media to measure the relationship are all critical factors in navigating social media boundaries as a couple.

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